Use it for emphasis, to encourage someone to keep talking or to defuse things when people get emotional. A poor response would be “Do you have a gun? What kind? How many bullets do you have?” because it forces the man into one-word answers, gives the impression that the negotiator is more interested in the gun than the man, and communicates a sense of urgency that will build rather than defuse tension. Tell me how it all happened.” It is non-judgmental, shows interest, and is likely to lead to more information about the man’s situation. Via Crisis Negotiations, Fourth Edition: Managing Critical Incidents and Hostage Situations in Law Enforcement and Corrections:Ī good open-ended question would be “Sounds like a tough deal. You don’t want yes/no answers, you want them to open up. So what six techniques do FBI hostage negotiation professionals use to take it to the next level? 1. Ask questions that show you’ve been paying attention and that move the discussion forward. Without being awkward, repeat back the gist of what they just said, from their frame of reference.Nod your head, and make brief acknowledging comments like “yes” and “uh-huh.”.The basics of active listening are pretty straightforward: They don’t pay attention to emotions and they don’t listen. They walk into a negotiation wanting to make an argument. They don’t walk into a negotiation wanting to hear what the other side has to say. If your first objective in the negotiation, instead of making your argument, is to hear the other side out, that’s the only way you can quiet the voice in the other guy’s mind. So it’s very much like dealing with a schizophrenic. When they’re making their argument to you, you’re thinking about your argument, that’s the voice in your head that’s talking to you. If while you’re making your argument, the only time the other side is silent is because they’re thinking about their own argument, they’ve got a voice in their head that’s talking to them. But most people are terrible at listening. The most critical step in the Behavioral Change Staircase is actually the first part: Active listening. Human beings are incapable of being rational, regardless… So instead of pretending emotions don’t exist in negotiations, hostage negotiators have actually designed an approach that takes emotions fully into account and uses them to influence situations, which is the reality of the way all negotiations go… What’s your best alternative to a negotiated agreement, or ‘BATNA’? That’s to try to be completely unemotional and rational, which is a fiction about negotiation. … business negotiations try to pretend that emotions don’t exist. Saying “ Here’s why I’m right and you’re wrong” might be effective if people were fundamentally rational.įrom my interview with former head of FBI international hostage negotiation, Chris Voss: You start at 4 (Influence) and expect the other person to immediately go to 5 (Behavioral Change). In all likelihood you usually skip the first three steps. The problem is, you’re probably screwing it up. (And maybe come out with their hands up.) Influence: Now that they trust you, you’ve earned the right to work on problem solving with them and recommend a course of action.Empathy: You get an understanding of where they’re coming from and how they feel.Active Listening: Listen to their side and make them aware you’re listening.
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